hi john well its asad day for shazs/and her family her brother john died last nite .. i feel so sorry for them all ... coz i am still greive ng after u going ..but off late shazs has been very nasty to me .. i would not hurt her the way she has done to me.. i was talk ng to my sis on thursday as i was in a terrible state coz of wat shazs said in her txts ...and i said to my sis wat goes around come around .. now i feel guilty for day ng that ...by the way my sis has been great to me .. i love u and miss u so much bt john i blame d my self for ugoing but it was kim yes kim... she explain d things to me now i know it just was ur time i felt better for the firt time in 7/month s but thats all the part of greive ng ... john u can rest in peace noe know ng i will b all rite ... i have gt surport from the boy s and the girls kim as u know as got atoung on her but she talk s a lot off sence ... i felt i was a burden but i am not i am make ng dinner up for shazs and vee she is drink ng but i will just leave iff she starts on me darling had rian for the after noon on sat .... going dwn to kim/karl on xmas day mags/steven and the kids r going dwn to it will nt b the same without u but i will put abrave face on fot the grand children .... i am away for now xxxxh