hiya john things have been bad this week .. i have cried a lot i miss u so much u know ur but the day off ur n funeral always on ma mind the hurt i feel with loss ng u ... i txt derek ask ng him for help but i wishi had not he got bck ta me and said no as he is keep ng 2 houses ....but the day of ur funeral he told me just get in touch if i need d help feel really stupid now will not ask again .... its u he cares bout not me ... the boy r now live ng with the girls let hope it last i like b ng on ma own .....i feel a bit better in my self john i know ur look ng out for me ihope ... i wish u where here with me i miss u just moan ng at me its funny u did say u miss it all when i am gone ur rite i do .... shazs has still not been up ta the houze never mind .... love u always xxx